Thinking Like a Guy: Survey of the Sexes Part 2

Yesterday's post was the start of this two part series tackling the "he said, she said" factor. What if really there is no difference in the way men and women think about life and relationships? Rather its all based on timing and the way men and women communicate with each other that makes us so crazy to want to believe we're really different.

Maybe that conclusion is the case with long term relationships and how you want someone to "feel" about you. But what about the physical side of life? Aside from the obvious, how are we different when it comes to thinking about dating and physical contact?

This is what my "informants" unveiled to me:

1. A first date should start with "A" and end with "B"
He said: a. talking b. kiss on the cheek and/or hug
She said: a. killer outfit b. one helluva kiss
My Take: Ladies, ladies. Well done. Guys we love gentlemen, don't get us wrong, but if the vibe is there work your magic...be a man and kiss her. If she's not feeling it, and sirs you will get that vibe if she's not (or if you're not) ending with a hug or just a "it was great to meet you".

2. What makes for a great kiss...
He said: Slow and not too much tongue
She said: Slow and steady...and the gusto to learn from your partner
My Take: It's about the person. The moment. Take it from there. Practice never hurts either.

3. Do you believe in sex on the first date...
He said: No, you want us to want something to strive for. However if it happens, then it happens.
She said: No way, we need to give guys a reason to ask us out on a second date and usually if he's calling and you have had sex on the first date most likely calls are coming in after 10pm and we all know what those are called...
My Take: I think these are spot on.

When it came to gifts that you would prefer to receive for holidays, all of my informants said they would prefer something thoughtful and not always extravagant. Sure XBOX360 and Tiffany's are great, but spending time together at dinner or a show/game was preferred.

What was most interesting, and granted I think it really depends on the individual, but when asked to put these in order from most important to least important, they all agreed (both sexes) that it should be:
1. Work/career
2. Family
3. Significant other
4. Friends
5. Cars/shoes

To sum this all up, I suppose there was no earth shattering or light in the path moment on my way to discovering why guys and dolls are so different when it comes to our emotions and the outward expression of what we want. It really seems like we're all striving for the same things and that we each believe in passion and love but can tell the difference between "not getting enough" and lust.

What do you think? Agree with my informants and their perspective of the opposite sex? Drop a comment...you know you want to!

*Image pulled from TeamSugar.com

Thinking Like A Guy: The Survey of the Sexes Part 1

Last week I wrote a short post that discussed thinking like a dude. At the end of it I had an epiphany that wouldn't be fantastic to ask chicks and dudes the same questions and see where we ended up. What do we actually agree on?

Here we go.

1. Being single means...
He said:Having time to figure out what’s going on with everything else in your life. Maybe even figure out why exactly you’re single and meeting new people.
She said: Being confident, sexy, fabulous, sassy, carefree, and empowered to do things how I wanna do them! But also finding your other half.
My take: We're on the same page with this one - we both look at being single as opportunity, but also a search for someone to make us happier.

2. Being married means...
He said: You’re done with being single ever again. Question 1 has allowed you to find yourself and put you in a good enough position with your life that you’re ready to spend it with one person that you love and care about.
She said: Being with someone you can't live without. They're your best friend, partner and can make you laugh until your sides hurt.It's an outward expression of love.
My take: Guys look at it as a finality. Girls look at it as a beginning. There's no wrong answer - we can agree that it also means finding someone who knows you better than anyone.

3. What annoys the shit out of you about the opposite sex...
He said: When they’re OVER emotional, critical and enjoy gossiping about other people.
She said: Ego, stubbornness, when men are with women they know they shouldn't be with just because they're getting laid, and they never plan ahead.
My take: It's pretty obvious here that there will always be things that annoy us about each other but clearly the guys attack the emotions and the girls attack the lack therof.

The next post talks about interpreting the physical side of dating and relationships...what do you believe in when it comes to kissing, sex on the first date and social priorities. Do we really think differently or are we just on different playing fields when it comes to communicating it?

*Thanks to all the responses for this survey...you guys rock.
Image is from the movie "The Break-Up"

Red Light, Green Light

One of the most frustrating things for girls, and I can imagine for guys, is the way we've all perfected the art of mixed signals. Being excited about someone new has the fun and frustration mixed together to either be something amazing or something completely disappointing.

For most of the single folks out there (including myself) the mixed signal concept is a simple one. They're not interested. Get out of your head and stop making excuses for them and you. It's easy. If there are moments where you "thought" something was about to happen or could have happened, it didn't for one of two reasons:

1. They aren't interested - despite of what you may think or what you want
2. They believe the same about you - that you aren't interested. If that's the case then give it some time, afterall, timing is everything!

The point of this post is a reminder to stop thinking that your significant other knows what you're thinking. Guess what? The other person is not in your head and can't read your mind, so don't assume that they can. I've seen and been a part of many arguments from couples and as a couple where the other assumes they know what the other should be thinking.

If you're a couple pick your battles. If you're single be straightforward - you'll save yourself confusion and the other person from it as well.

On the other hand, mixed signals tend to keep people on their toes and relationships interesting. Not to mention it helps fuel boat loads of girls night conversations.

Red light, green light.

Thinking Like A Guy

My good friend said to me last night. Just think like a guy. And that got me thinking. When it comes to relationships whether they are platonic, sexual or flirtatious, thinking like a guy is definitely different then the way us ladies think.

SheKnows.com recently posted a Q&A about this very idea, but I think they only skimmed the surface of this topic. I'd like to pose questions and have a guy and a girl answer them honestly.

Do I have any volunteers?

We can keep this anonymous. I'm truly curious to know if men think differently than women do or if its all just miscommunications.

C'mon I need a guy and a girl to be willing to answer some questions...any takers? You can contact me at highheelsandpinkfrosting@gmail.com

For the Love of California

I've been to California a number of times for both business and pleasure. From Napa Valley to San Diego, I have never been disappointed by the gorgeous locals and weather. Not to mention some incredible looking people.

There were moments (different times) throughout my adult life where I actually thought about moving to California. Different reasons. A guy. A job. A change. But they never panned out. I couldn't fully commit to picking up and creating an entirely new life for myself. Props to people who are brave enough to do it. To me, California always seems like a good idea.

An old friend lives in San Diego. The kind of old friend that use to write letters when we were younger. The kind of old friend that if life were a movie, would end up being the "right guy" - but it's always about timing, right?

I saw him the past few times I was out there - the sweet kid turned into a great guy. Not surprised. I talk to him every now and again. He's happy and in love out there. I'm happy and fabulous here.

My point here is that I'm a believer that the people in your life or ones that you have different encounters with usually are there for a reason. You can usually figure out why they're a part of your life. For the benefit of them. For the benefit of you. You help each other through different moments. Whatever it may be, I'm sure you can assign a reason why each person you know is a part of your life. The guy in California is the one person that I have no idea why he's a part of my life. Friend? Sure. Regardless, I'm glad to know him. And it gives me a reason to go back to Cali.

Is there someone like that a part of your life? You're not sure how or why they're there, but they're there? I wonder if I'm alone in this.

Back to Cali.

If you've never been, GO. San Diego is beautiful. San Francisco is breathtaking. Monterrey is memorable. Where is your favorite?

Timing is EVERYTHING

Whenever someone said to me "timing is everything" or "it'll just take time" I use to get really fired up. Mostly it was because something was happening that was out of my hands. But the more I look at situations whether they're mine or other peoples, timing really is everything.

Definitely, Maybe is a really cute movie staring Ryan Reynolds, Isla Fischer, Abigail Breslin and Rachel Weisz. If you haven't seen it, its a story about a father telling his daughter how he met her mother and flashes back into different moments in his twenties as he leaves and meets three women.

There is a scene that I love where Ryan and Isla as good friends are talking about meeting the right "someone" - they both have these harbored feelings of affection towards one another which makes the scene really saucy. Isla feels rejected by him while Ryan starts to look at her in a different way. Anyways, Isla says something like "a man for instance can meet a ton of amazing and beautiful women, but they'll never be the right one until he's ready to find the right one. The right one ends of being whoever your with when you're ready to settle down - most of the time it's the timing and maybe not even the person".

I think it's the most honest way to look at relationships. How many amazing people have you met or been with when the only reason you can think of NOT being together is based on a circumstance like geography, the wrong frame of mind, or even another person?

The hopeful romantic in me wants to ignore the thought of time, but the realist in me wakes up and says "shit happens for a reason" and being an optimist pushes me to believe that things (no matter the flavor) usually work out. What do you think? Are you a realist or a romantic?

Holidaaay...Celebraaate....

Hallmark has made its brand a success through the emotional connection we have with words and days that are meant to be important to us. Throw in the want of wanting someone on Valentine's Day, shake it with admiration for Secretaries Week and top it off with Teacher Appreciation Day and you have yourself a maufactured glass of bullshit.

I will also confess that though that is a harsh and true statement, I still love everything Hallmark stands for, especially those manufactured days. Sending someone a card or a note that has a signature and a special message provides a sense of warmth that someone cared enough to buy it and mail it. There are a few holidays however that Hallmark can not take the credit for. Christmas (duh), Easter, and birthdays.

The world according to me: Birthday's are holidays. Your very own day that can be all about you. I celebrate the hell out of them. There are some years that are more exciting than others, but each birthday should be enjoyed whether its with friends, family, or both.

You can even skip on the cards for Birthday's - Hallmark doesn't help define your day. Though I never said flowers weren't a good idea.

What's your favorite birthday tribute? Are you a card lover? E-cards perhaps? Do you make a list of things you want? I'm curious on your take.