Can you change your mind?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been in the mindset of looking forward to love. It’ll happen one day out of nowhere and the nonsensical statements of “it’ll find you when you least expect it” actually bare some sort of profound and true-to-my-life meaning. I’ve always had the attitude that it’s something that happens to you.

I don’t know if I actually believe that anymore. I don’t think anyone can actually fall into this thing called love unless they’re completely aware that it’s happening. I think it’s actually a choice. You look at your life and say “I choose to not do this solo anymore” or you continue to coast on the never ending search for perfection and something that’s slightly unreal.

I’ve noticed that the love stories that begin in the throes of passion, usually end with a 40-something divorcee on a path of discovering a career that is incredibly impressive. Why do women have to be jilted to be successful? To that degree, I wonder, do you leave the idea of forever happiness and love by the wayside and do what you can to experience the things you want - - but with the aching suspicion that it will last for only a short while? Do you choose to get married, have children, do the family thing with the intense possibility that you’ll be flailing again at 45 and bad-mouthing your ex-husband to your girlfriends as you finish that third bottle of vino? While the majority may end up that way, I can’t help but wonder do we do it anyways, and challenge the trend.

I say all of this by also considering that a life full of happiness doesn’t have to involve any of those things. Husbands, children, dogs, in-laws. 

I’m impressed by the women who look at life in an “I’m the center of my universe” kind of way. That career – the kind of career where you’re prepared to jilt your world and go big – and that love means being carefree and breezy. I raise my eyebrow at the thought of semi-cautious love affairs, staying out of debt, being proud of a shoe collection, and being a killer Auntie. But, can a life like that be a happy one? I don’t know. I feel like the grass is always greener spiel is incredibly evident depending on what side you’re gazing from. Think about all of this realistically and not from a John Hughes plotline or Zach Braff movie soundtrack. Are you already subconsciously making the choice? Can you change your mind?

Image pulled from ForcesofGeek.com