The Dating Compass

Let’s face it, everyone’s moral compass doesn’t always point due north. In fact, I find that when you’re dating escapades are actually on the up and up, the moral or should I say sexual compass tends to point south.  Depending on your upbringing, your age, or how long it’s been since you’ve had a really great roll around your sheets, your point of view on all of this will be skewed differently.

My girlfriends and I have talked about this at great lengths. Usually perspectives change for each situation, but we can all agree that in most situations, the waiting game is always the most successful game for girls. Now, before I’m brutally lashed out at for saying what I’m about to say, let me throw out a disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Not everyone will agree with me, in fact, I welcome the contradictions in my statements to be called out. For those of you that have a long lasting relationship or marriage that was initially fueled by sex on the first date or time you met, then, I tip my hat to you.

I’ll revert back to a simple comparison to movies, TV and even soap operas. The best storylines, the ones that keep you tuned in, returning each week, and/or buying on Blu-ray or iTunes® are the ones that keep up the sexual anticipation.  This, I’m told, falls into real life as well.

Let me also point out that the reason I find this entire topic compelling enough to actually blog about is that I’ve been on both sides of the argument. There have been times where you’re having an amazing date with someone who is so incredibly attractive that the idea of seeing what he’s got “up his sleeve” is pretty much the only goal of the evening. C’mon, it’s almost 2011. Women are allowed and even encouraged to be sexually independent and do what they want with whom they want.

On the flip side, recognize the chances that things will never be anything more than just sex (like I said there are exceptions, but this tends to be more of a rule). Granted, you can’t wait forever and unless it’s a religious belief or personal goal, I don’t agree with waiting until you’re married (really, you want to buy it before you try it?). I am however more of a believer of waiting until you know that it’ll be more than just sex.

I remember hearing about the 3^rd date rule – I feel like this was a big 80’s push. I suppose it’s a matter of what those three dates were all about and how you left each one.   But I never really thought about how soon three dates really are. I mean, at that point you probably at least know the basics, but can you tell if he’s a catch yet?

At the end of the day it boils down to what exactly you’re really looking for. Love or lust. Now, the eternal optimist in me believes that you can find both. I suppose it’s really a matter of what you’re seriously looking for. A little sexual tension and anticipation is never a bad thing.