Thriving in Sulfuric Acid

The Planet Earth series narrated by Sigourney Weaver is something that I will watch whenever it's on the Discovery Channel. Even if I've seen it already. Tonight I watched an episode about underground caves and the habitats that survive and thrive in them. In complete darkness.

Imagine that. A world where you can't see ahead of you. Sounds somewhat similar to the life we know, even with our eyes wide open.

A particular cave in Mexico, called Cueva de Villa Luz is made of thermal sulphur springs inside the cave that surprisingly feed enormous amounts of sulfur loving cave life. Wildlife has adapted over centuries to thrive in this toxic environment. Most without the sense of sight, underwater creatures not only live in total darkness, but in sulfuric acid.

Aside from the beauty of the Planet Earth series, I'm always intrigued by something new that I didn't know before.

It's amazing the metaphor that can come out of this particular series on the sulfuric cave. The concept that adapting to the environment that you're presented with, is possible. That the body and mind can adapt to its surrounding and not only live, but flourish.

Now, I'm not saying that if you're world feels toxic to just sit in it and hope you adjust, I suppose my point-of-view leans more toward the concept that your surroundings might not always be ideal or perfect, but you can live in it, change it, and before you even realize it, it's exactly the kind of place that's perfect for you. That where you are, helps evolve who you are.

Maybe not as literal as the blind sulfuric acid cave life thriving in Mexico, but look at your situation. Your life.

I found myself remembering a time when I wasn't where I wanted it to be, but after time, tears, and tequila, I can look around at this moment and know that I'm happy I'm here.

I also realize that moments of an adapted life or environment don't usually last long before something else pops up and I find myself in an emotional temper-tantrum again. So, when you can look around appreciate and exhale, do it. The nice thing to remember is that you don't have to stay in a dark cave filled with sulfuric acid, you always have the option to change direction.

Are you happy with where you are at this moment? Look around and ask yourself why you may have said no. Fix it and give it time. You'd be surpised when you find yourself looking around again and ready to exhale and smile.

Soul Snacks Make a Happy Girl

We all go through these periods of our lives where you get pulled down, feel unlike the person you were or should be, and just sit on a roller coaster of emotional "Debbie Downers" and "Mary Catherine Gallagher's". I feel like sometimes it just takes time to wade the water and climb out of whatever it is that you're going through. They could last a week, a season, even a year. Most of the time you don't even realize you were in a funk until it's gone.

So how do you get through these? Great question, right? I don't have a cinematic reveal on how to move through this, but I can offer a few suggestions or what I like to call "soul snacks" that can help get you back to the most fabulous version of yourself. Getting past the funk really might just take time, but here are a few tips that can lead the way to a happier personal perspective.

Snacks for the Soul
- Go out to dinner with a friend, order whatever looks delicious, do not order a salad, stay long after the check has been paid and talk with whomever makes you feel like the best version of yourself. (side note, if it's your boyfriend that's been giving you heartburn lately, do not take him, choose a different dinner partner).

- Watch a great TV series. The kind that evoke happy thoughts or new perspective. My choice will always be Sex & The City. For others it may be Seinfeld, The Office or even Perfect Strangers...I don't know why, but trust me on this one.

- Make a plan or a ton of plans. Fill up your calendar with things to do. Don't just save it for the weekend, let it spill into your week. Nothing will get you through a Wednesday better then knowing you have plans to do something after work.

- Time for a big-ish change. My thought about being stuck in a funk is that you most likely got into one because something happened or is happening that you couldn't control. Funks usually sneak up on us and force us to be stuck in a rut. Well, bitch slap it away with something that you can change. It could be a big as changing jobs or as small as finding something else to do besides work and drinking with friends. Change helps you grow and before you know it, you've grown right out of the funk!

-Give yourself a day. Take a Sunday and make a big breakfast, relax, shop, do whatever makes you feel relaxed. But do it alone, I've found that a lot of times you need to pull yourself out of it and the best way to do that is spend time alone doing things on your own for yourself. If you need some serious soul-food, pull out the Visa and get a hot stone massage...yes, they work they pull you right out of negative thoughts and into about 50-80 minutes of pure bliss.

Snap out of it. If nothing else, these were a few suggestions that offer moments of happiness and smiles, which I believe helps to pull (girls especially) out of a funk. Happy Friday, have a fabulous weekend, make it a memorable one!

Nina Simone's Sexy Sound

Music moves me. Both literally and figuratively. I don't have a preference, really it all depends on my mood. It's rare that I find something that I can't at least appreciate, and most of the time, I usually like what I hear. If you had to guess where I grew up and only had the music that I really love as a hint to it, you would probably guess in a smoke-filled lounge with a big band and jazzy headliner.

There are some musicians and singers that can make you feel a certain way. Bring me any of the boys (i.e. Frank, Dean or Sammy) and I can be instantly transformed into a very favorable state of mind. (I bet you wouldn't have guess that if you just met me)

I will tell you that I loved the way I felt the first time I heard Nina Simone. This pianist, singer (and civil rights activist) had this incredible deep and confident voice that just screams sultry and serious. The kind of music that isn't manipulated by computers or overpowered by too much controversy. The kind of voice that makes you want to do things...yep those kinds of things too.

I love to hear what other people listen to, so I figured I would share my secret love for Nina Simone (what a great name right, too bad it was a stage name, but great nonetheless). There are few people that I've met that list Nina Simone when I ask what kind of music they like or listen to, so if noting else, next time you have a chat about music with someone you may be able to name someone new. Or, if not, then you'll be able to say I listened to something new, but really hated it. Either way, you've tried something different.

Happy Tuesday my shoe and sugar followers!

Check out some of Nina's music
Sinnerman (you know this song from The Thomas Crown Affair)
Feeling Good
I want a little sugar in my bowl

If you like what you hear type her into Pandora and a roster of some other great musicians will pop up that you might find a secret love for...

A Diva is a Female Version of a Hustler

You know you're week is going to start off right when you read HH&PF and see that the title of Monday's post is lyrics to a Beyonce song. That usually means one of two things: I've either felt totally empowered or I've been pissed off by the opposite sex in some way. This run around, it's the feeling of empowerment or at least the need to pass on some great motivation.

Every girl has an inner diva. She may be suppressed from years of "being too nice," forgetting about number one, wanting to please rather than be pleased or nobody ever told you that it was okay to let'er out. Here it is, your motivation to bust her out. In my eyes, diva doesn't mean bitch or the gorgeous women that belt out tunes on VH1. It means making your life the most important (or your family's lives the most important). I've seen so many girls just worn down by men, money, work and not tapping the inner diva to get out of the funk.

So if a diva is a female version of a hustler, then hustle. Get your priorities in line. Do the fun stuff. Stop putting off the things you've always wanted to do and just do them.

I suppose this post is one that is less about me being preachy and more about just starting a pep rally for the girls that forget it's okay to be a little bit of a diva. It's all about attitude right? With the right one, you'd be suprised how much you'll feel less like a cliche to a song and more like a more fabulous version of you.

If you totally disagree and just think I'm full of it, that's cool (although, you know you're going to come back tomorrow to see what I have to say). Check out the song that inspired this post (it has some great lyrics).

When was the last time you've unleashed your inner diva?

Does Your Halloween Costume Reveal Something About You?

Halloween is always a fun holiday. For me, it means I can get my fill of horror movies (I love them, I don't know why), Reece's peanut butter pumpkins and the reminder to enjoy what's left of my favorite season, because it's almost over.

Dressing up for Halloween has always been a big deal. When we were kids it was to impress whoever I was crushing on in class and show off during our schools costume parade. As we got older it was to scare as many people as possible when trick 0r treating, and now it's about looking fantastic at a house party or event. Couple themed costumes are usually my favorite. I've seen some really great ones over the past few years (Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone, Ms. PacMan and the Flashing ghost, Mario and Princess Peach, and even Sigfried and Roy...with mini-white stuffed tigers).

It's also a time for girls to dress a little scandalous and guys to try and make as many people scratch their heads or laugh at their get-up as possible. I've read a few articles lately about how a persons choice for a Halloween costume could say a lot about them and that thier costume in fact reveals certain parts of themselves (even with out them knowing it). I don't know that I really believe that (I'm pretty sure the sexy kitten or Little Miss Muffett said to themselves..."oh yes, I'm so cat-like and cunning or I want to be naive and scared of spiders")

Single ladies, I'll give my theory here. Guys, you can choose to agree with me or not on this one.

To all the ladies dressing up this Halloween, I understand that there are two choices here. You can go with a bloody and scary costume, which in the eyes of many men can be seen like the a totally confident woman and really a person who just enjoys participating in the scary season. But, whilst talking to one of these said guys at a party I wouldn't be surprised if this occurred ...The inner thoughts of the cute guy you're talking to while dressed like a ghoul "beep beep beep radar radar radar, there goes the sexy pilot, how do I get my wings...I'm done with this bloody mess for now."

Or do you compete with rest and go with a little bit of scandal?

Stop right there.

Do not pull out the feminist card.

No, I do not believe that you have to dress in a tiny Halloween costume to look fabulous. But I do think, there are very few occasions when you can dress completely inappropriately and it's accepted and applauded.

So, my little bit of advice when you're getting ready this Halloween is to just have fun with it. Be scary. Be sexy. Be something that's completely different. Opt for the skirt that needs bloomers, by the fake lashes, knee highs and thigh highs can be fun (both during and after the party). But do it with taste. After all it's always better to not be mistaken for a trick, but rather a treat.

Happy Halloween! Be safe and have one helluva time!

So, are you for or against scantily clad costumes?

The Dumb Card

We are all guilty of throwing out the dumb card now and again. I've done it. I'm sure you've done it. But, why do we do it? I've learned over the past few years that the people that play the dumb card the best are men. Though many women think men are dumb, I actually think we don't give them enough credit sometimes (sometimes being the operative word). It may be possible that they are in fact smart and know exactly what they're doing, but play the dumb card to their benefit. And boy, can they play it well.

After all, it's easier to play surprised or stupid in order to get your way or hear what you want to hear. It's this strange world of manipulation that guys, I'm pretty sure, are born with or taught at an early age. It keeps us women shaking our heads and believing that they're just not that smart, when in fact it's part of the game.

I've used the dumb card in situations to make other people feel better (i.e. I'm supposed to be surprised about something, but I already know or I've guessed), I've used it to hear what someone else thinks about a situation first so I'm not the vulnerable one, I've even used it to flirt with guys (i.e. explain to me why that yellow flag was tossed, or where does the windshield washer fluid go again?). Regardless of how or when, we all use the dumb card. My point of this post is to recognize the fact that both men and women draw the dumb card every now and again for our own gain, but abusing it and causing people to take a second look and wonder if you are, in fact, really dumb is quite another. Use wisely. And guys, we know exactly what you're up to...

How have you used the dumb card lately?

The Kind That Lasts Forever

Weddings have definitely penetrated my cynical state of mind over the past few weeks. I watched as a series of people promised to love each other the way they love each other now, but say that they'll do it forever. That's one helluva promise. Who knows who this person will be in 20 years, right? But all of those kinds of questions I'll put aside (that's another post).

The best part of these weddings in particular is that I truly feel that they'll keep the promise. I never thought I would be so happy to see my friends so happy.

When you find it, I suppose you just know. At least, that's what they say. There has to be something that tells you, "this is the person that will make my life the same and different everyday...and I want them...all the time." Or maybe it's not as intricate as that. Maybe it's just something that tells you, "this is the one that I want to see ".

I know everyone is searching for someone to make them just that little bit happier, smarter, stronger than they are by themselves. Even the jaded and jilted singles out there. Don't lie, you want it. The kind of love that you read about. The kind that lasts for a lifetime.

For a long time I wasn't sure that it existed for everyone. That maybe some of us just were strong enough to be the life-long single ones. That we love the idea of love more than ever finding someone to fit the expectations of it. That maybe it's just not in the cards for us and that a happy and full life can be had with family and friends.

There's a part of me that may never look past those concepts, but I can say that after seeing people that I've grown up with find happiness and then stand-up and say they want it for keeps, well, it may have taken the hopeless out of this romantic and replaced it with hopeful.

Have you found it yet?