Vacations = beach and drinks

I absolutely would like to go to the following places: Italy, Ireland, Czech Republic, Africa. However, these are not places that I instantly think of as I day dream about a gorgeous vacation getaway. Maybe it's really up to your own preference, but personally speaking, I'm the kind of girl that if you tell me there is a beach and a bar and if there's a bar on the beach, then I'm in and can have my bag packed in about 10 minutes!

Let me clarify. Yes, I want to travel to amazing countries and I'm positive that I actually will and will not be forced to create a bucket list for these things as I'm old and wilting. However, right now, maybe with the exception of Telluride, I consider a true vacation one that includes blue water, white to caramel colored sand, and frozen drinks (the drinks can be the kind that you swim up to order or the kind that are brought to you by an gorgeous cabana boy. I'd take either option).

Here are a few hot-spots that are worth checking out:

• Turks & Caicos
• St. Lucia
• Key West
• Puerto Rico
• Paradise Island

Who's in?

Man Buckets

A good and gay friend sings and dances to "It's Raining Men" like no other queen I've ever seen. But, in this post I'm not talking about the abundance of the opposite sex, rather how I personally group the interaction between myself and the relationships with them over the years. It's a great system. One that can be optimized for yourself.

In a lot of ways it may even help organize and analyze exactly what the hell it is you've been doing all this time (whether you're single or a couple).

Here's the bucket breakdown (I've clearly excluded the names for private purposes):

• The one's that change you - these tend to be the ones that make the biggest splash in your world; you usually cry and strive for these
  
• The ones that are just for fun - kick off your prim n' proper boots; these are the ones that are for fun and laughter (no tears should be shed on these guys)
  
• The ones that are better in your mind than in reality - where to begin...these can range from Justin Timberlake to the ones that ended up a disappointment
  
• The ones that want you more than you want them - this is self explanatory; no matter how hard you try (or not) they'll always overdo it and want to be with you more than vice versa
  

The kicker with the "man buckets" is being able to honestly put them in their correct bucket. This is where the biggest challenge lies. It's easy to play the tough girl and group the ones that didn't work out into "just for fun" but lets be honest here.

So what do you do once you recap and group?

Get over the "what if's" and maybe he'll come backs - move onto something new and focus on what you want versus the patterns of what you had.

The "just for fun" guys can be a single girls best friend and fast track to instant happiness. But, understand that these guys will never be the kind of guy you want to be in a relationship with. If you can keep these guys in this bucket, you'll save yourself regretted text messages and tears when you find out he's dating someone new.

Whether you strongly agree or not, the idea for the "man buckets" is to wake up and realize what kind of relationship you really want and not the kind of relationship family or friends want for you.

This can also work quite well for guys to recap the kinds of relationships they've had with women.

Think about it. And have fun recapping.
Image pulled from : http://www.mbaintheusa.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/buckets.jpg

Thinking Like a Guy: Survey of the Sexes Part 2

Yesterday's post was the start of this two part series tackling the "he said, she said" factor. What if really there is no difference in the way men and women think about life and relationships? Rather its all based on timing and the way men and women communicate with each other that makes us so crazy to want to believe we're really different.

Maybe that conclusion is the case with long term relationships and how you want someone to "feel" about you. But what about the physical side of life? Aside from the obvious, how are we different when it comes to thinking about dating and physical contact?

This is what my "informants" unveiled to me:

1. A first date should start with "A" and end with "B"
He said: a. talking b. kiss on the cheek and/or hug
She said: a. killer outfit b. one helluva kiss
My Take: Ladies, ladies. Well done. Guys we love gentlemen, don't get us wrong, but if the vibe is there work your magic...be a man and kiss her. If she's not feeling it, and sirs you will get that vibe if she's not (or if you're not) ending with a hug or just a "it was great to meet you".

2. What makes for a great kiss...
He said: Slow and not too much tongue
She said: Slow and steady...and the gusto to learn from your partner
My Take: It's about the person. The moment. Take it from there. Practice never hurts either.

3. Do you believe in sex on the first date...
He said: No, you want us to want something to strive for. However if it happens, then it happens.
She said: No way, we need to give guys a reason to ask us out on a second date and usually if he's calling and you have had sex on the first date most likely calls are coming in after 10pm and we all know what those are called...
My Take: I think these are spot on.

When it came to gifts that you would prefer to receive for holidays, all of my informants said they would prefer something thoughtful and not always extravagant. Sure XBOX360 and Tiffany's are great, but spending time together at dinner or a show/game was preferred.

What was most interesting, and granted I think it really depends on the individual, but when asked to put these in order from most important to least important, they all agreed (both sexes) that it should be:
1. Work/career
2. Family
3. Significant other
4. Friends
5. Cars/shoes

To sum this all up, I suppose there was no earth shattering or light in the path moment on my way to discovering why guys and dolls are so different when it comes to our emotions and the outward expression of what we want. It really seems like we're all striving for the same things and that we each believe in passion and love but can tell the difference between "not getting enough" and lust.

What do you think? Agree with my informants and their perspective of the opposite sex? Drop a comment...you know you want to!

*Image pulled from TeamSugar.com

Thinking Like A Guy: The Survey of the Sexes Part 1

Last week I wrote a short post that discussed thinking like a dude. At the end of it I had an epiphany that wouldn't be fantastic to ask chicks and dudes the same questions and see where we ended up. What do we actually agree on?

Here we go.

1. Being single means...
He said:Having time to figure out what’s going on with everything else in your life. Maybe even figure out why exactly you’re single and meeting new people.
She said: Being confident, sexy, fabulous, sassy, carefree, and empowered to do things how I wanna do them! But also finding your other half.
My take: We're on the same page with this one - we both look at being single as opportunity, but also a search for someone to make us happier.

2. Being married means...
He said: You’re done with being single ever again. Question 1 has allowed you to find yourself and put you in a good enough position with your life that you’re ready to spend it with one person that you love and care about.
She said: Being with someone you can't live without. They're your best friend, partner and can make you laugh until your sides hurt.It's an outward expression of love.
My take: Guys look at it as a finality. Girls look at it as a beginning. There's no wrong answer - we can agree that it also means finding someone who knows you better than anyone.

3. What annoys the shit out of you about the opposite sex...
He said: When they’re OVER emotional, critical and enjoy gossiping about other people.
She said: Ego, stubbornness, when men are with women they know they shouldn't be with just because they're getting laid, and they never plan ahead.
My take: It's pretty obvious here that there will always be things that annoy us about each other but clearly the guys attack the emotions and the girls attack the lack therof.

The next post talks about interpreting the physical side of dating and relationships...what do you believe in when it comes to kissing, sex on the first date and social priorities. Do we really think differently or are we just on different playing fields when it comes to communicating it?

*Thanks to all the responses for this survey...you guys rock.
Image is from the movie "The Break-Up"

Red Light, Green Light

One of the most frustrating things for girls, and I can imagine for guys, is the way we've all perfected the art of mixed signals. Being excited about someone new has the fun and frustration mixed together to either be something amazing or something completely disappointing.

For most of the single folks out there (including myself) the mixed signal concept is a simple one. They're not interested. Get out of your head and stop making excuses for them and you. It's easy. If there are moments where you "thought" something was about to happen or could have happened, it didn't for one of two reasons:

1. They aren't interested - despite of what you may think or what you want
2. They believe the same about you - that you aren't interested. If that's the case then give it some time, afterall, timing is everything!

The point of this post is a reminder to stop thinking that your significant other knows what you're thinking. Guess what? The other person is not in your head and can't read your mind, so don't assume that they can. I've seen and been a part of many arguments from couples and as a couple where the other assumes they know what the other should be thinking.

If you're a couple pick your battles. If you're single be straightforward - you'll save yourself confusion and the other person from it as well.

On the other hand, mixed signals tend to keep people on their toes and relationships interesting. Not to mention it helps fuel boat loads of girls night conversations.

Red light, green light.

Thinking Like A Guy

My good friend said to me last night. Just think like a guy. And that got me thinking. When it comes to relationships whether they are platonic, sexual or flirtatious, thinking like a guy is definitely different then the way us ladies think.

SheKnows.com recently posted a Q&A about this very idea, but I think they only skimmed the surface of this topic. I'd like to pose questions and have a guy and a girl answer them honestly.

Do I have any volunteers?

We can keep this anonymous. I'm truly curious to know if men think differently than women do or if its all just miscommunications.

C'mon I need a guy and a girl to be willing to answer some questions...any takers? You can contact me at highheelsandpinkfrosting@gmail.com

For the Love of California

I've been to California a number of times for both business and pleasure. From Napa Valley to San Diego, I have never been disappointed by the gorgeous locals and weather. Not to mention some incredible looking people.

There were moments (different times) throughout my adult life where I actually thought about moving to California. Different reasons. A guy. A job. A change. But they never panned out. I couldn't fully commit to picking up and creating an entirely new life for myself. Props to people who are brave enough to do it. To me, California always seems like a good idea.

An old friend lives in San Diego. The kind of old friend that use to write letters when we were younger. The kind of old friend that if life were a movie, would end up being the "right guy" - but it's always about timing, right?

I saw him the past few times I was out there - the sweet kid turned into a great guy. Not surprised. I talk to him every now and again. He's happy and in love out there. I'm happy and fabulous here.

My point here is that I'm a believer that the people in your life or ones that you have different encounters with usually are there for a reason. You can usually figure out why they're a part of your life. For the benefit of them. For the benefit of you. You help each other through different moments. Whatever it may be, I'm sure you can assign a reason why each person you know is a part of your life. The guy in California is the one person that I have no idea why he's a part of my life. Friend? Sure. Regardless, I'm glad to know him. And it gives me a reason to go back to Cali.

Is there someone like that a part of your life? You're not sure how or why they're there, but they're there? I wonder if I'm alone in this.

Back to Cali.

If you've never been, GO. San Diego is beautiful. San Francisco is breathtaking. Monterrey is memorable. Where is your favorite?

Timing is EVERYTHING

Whenever someone said to me "timing is everything" or "it'll just take time" I use to get really fired up. Mostly it was because something was happening that was out of my hands. But the more I look at situations whether they're mine or other peoples, timing really is everything.

Definitely, Maybe is a really cute movie staring Ryan Reynolds, Isla Fischer, Abigail Breslin and Rachel Weisz. If you haven't seen it, its a story about a father telling his daughter how he met her mother and flashes back into different moments in his twenties as he leaves and meets three women.

There is a scene that I love where Ryan and Isla as good friends are talking about meeting the right "someone" - they both have these harbored feelings of affection towards one another which makes the scene really saucy. Isla feels rejected by him while Ryan starts to look at her in a different way. Anyways, Isla says something like "a man for instance can meet a ton of amazing and beautiful women, but they'll never be the right one until he's ready to find the right one. The right one ends of being whoever your with when you're ready to settle down - most of the time it's the timing and maybe not even the person".

I think it's the most honest way to look at relationships. How many amazing people have you met or been with when the only reason you can think of NOT being together is based on a circumstance like geography, the wrong frame of mind, or even another person?

The hopeful romantic in me wants to ignore the thought of time, but the realist in me wakes up and says "shit happens for a reason" and being an optimist pushes me to believe that things (no matter the flavor) usually work out. What do you think? Are you a realist or a romantic?

Holidaaay...Celebraaate....

Hallmark has made its brand a success through the emotional connection we have with words and days that are meant to be important to us. Throw in the want of wanting someone on Valentine's Day, shake it with admiration for Secretaries Week and top it off with Teacher Appreciation Day and you have yourself a maufactured glass of bullshit.

I will also confess that though that is a harsh and true statement, I still love everything Hallmark stands for, especially those manufactured days. Sending someone a card or a note that has a signature and a special message provides a sense of warmth that someone cared enough to buy it and mail it. There are a few holidays however that Hallmark can not take the credit for. Christmas (duh), Easter, and birthdays.

The world according to me: Birthday's are holidays. Your very own day that can be all about you. I celebrate the hell out of them. There are some years that are more exciting than others, but each birthday should be enjoyed whether its with friends, family, or both.

You can even skip on the cards for Birthday's - Hallmark doesn't help define your day. Though I never said flowers weren't a good idea.

What's your favorite birthday tribute? Are you a card lover? E-cards perhaps? Do you make a list of things you want? I'm curious on your take.

Dating in the Dark

Imagine you are blind. Now wait, it gets better. Imagine you are in your mid to late twenties inserted into the wonderful world of dating and you're blind. Now, imagine ABC tells you "Suprise, you're not blind, but we're going to insert you into a situation where you might as well be, THIS IS DATING IN THE DARK"

Three men and three women stay in a house for a few days and meet each other on a group date to get a sense of how they interact with each other. Then this experience turns into an experiment. Based on chemistry and whatever nonsensical matchy skills that ABC producers beleive might exist, they pair up the most compatible guy and girl. For the next few dates they interact with their matches in the dark. They smell each others clothes for pheromones. Talk in the dark, flirt in the dark, make-out in the dark (ooh fun!).

They're revealed to each other separately and then have to come back and decide whether or not to continue with dating. The experiment is about finding out about a person before being physically attracted to them. I completely enjoyed it.

Imagine meeting someone and finding out about how much you are attracted to them before seeing them or before them seeing you. What a fabulous challenge. There is something to be said for physical attraction. For relationships to really work, the physical needs to be there just as much as the emotional.

What's your take? Agree? Strongly object? Lovin' ABC's take on a dating experiment?

Crossing the Friend Line

Rachel put Ross in the friend zone for about a decade, but eventually found that the great guy was right there the whole time. Watts fell for her BFF Keith in Some Kind of Wonderful. Two of my close friends in fact were only friends for a long time before they were anything more. Fast forward about five years and they just celebrated their 2nd wedding anniversary.

So where and why do the lines cross? I had an incredibly insightful conversation with one of my girlfriends this past week about knowing when and who it's okay to cross this line with. Does it become a one time thing to get the attraction out? Does it become a convenient friends with benefits situation? Or does it become the happily ever after you've been hoping for?

At the end of this conversation, we agreed on one thing. No matter who the potential persons are, if they were once friends and choose to step out of the friend-zone to become something more, there is never going back. So be ready for whatever you and they have just started.

AskMen.com has some insight about this very topic. This web site has some really quirkey stories about all things girl vs. guy. When it comes to the "more than friends" topic here are a few recommendations from their post called "Friend to Flame in 5 Easy Steps":

1. Highlight the physical characteristics you possess that you know appeal to her.

2. Curb all “guy talk” in her presence.

3. Place her in an environment that will enable a shift in her perception.

4. Act chivalrous.

5. Use suggestive body language.

Check out the full post and details on these "tips" here.

I'm a sucker for a good romance story or at least hearing about the great details from a steamy affair. I say go for it.

If you know are all too familiar with this topic and want to share your success (or failed attempts on making it happen) post a comment!

All the single ladies

When you read this headline I'm sure there are a plethora of songs that pop into your head. Whether it's Beyonce shaking her hips and flipping her hand or DJ Kool droppin' a beat, us single gals need more than a shout out every now and then! Here are a few tips to remember when you're rocking the single and fabulous title!

• Go to dinner when ever possible - Though its a fuzzy economy, make the most out of it! There are a number of cities across the U.S. that host restaurant weeks or even recession pre fixe courses.
  

• Do something to pamper yourself every week - Whether it's buying a pair of fierce heels or getting manicure, make it a point to treat yourself. It's all in the attitude. If you feel good, you'll change the negative perception most people have of single gals.

• Make single friends - If your best girlfriend is not in the single-gal column anymore, I'm not saying ditch her, but make some other single friends. Believe me, getting out of your comfort zone is GOOD.

• Stay active and get involved - Joining the gym, a dance class or even attending a local MeetUp is a great way to meet people. The point is to stay active, not eat your way into prediabetes (nobody likes your fat jeans), and do something fabulous!
  

Pretty mama if you're single...

Sexy Texts: Good? Bad? Great?

Don't pretend that you have no idea what I'm talking about with this post headline.

If you've never been a recipient or sender of an inappropriate text message, then my friend, you are missing a true technology right of passage.

What's your take? Do you think sexy texts are acceptable, absolutely out of the question or as a seasoned pro, for you, this is a regular occurrence?

One of my good friends told me that, "Texting something wildly inappropriate to another person that you may be interested in, dating, or married to is a way to say something that you may not have to courage to say during a typical phone call. Embrace it. There is nothing to be embarrassed about."

Be smart. If you're not sure if the receiving party will dig this new uninhibited version of you, ease into it. Treat it just like face-to-face flirting. You'll pick-up if the vibe just isn't there.

One of my favorite sites, SheKnows.com, wrote about sexy texts back in 2008 and said "If you want more inspiration, Virgin Mobile might have you covered. A new site has been created called Let's Have Txt, which will teach you more about how to write those dirty messages that are so fun to send."

Go ahead. Enjoy the wonderful world of unlimited data plans, creative phrases and spark some enticing conversations!

I tried to check out the Virgin Mobile site, but it looks like Virgin cut the web sites life a bit short -- if you have any new destinations or tips of your own - send a comment :)

Podcasts Are A Fabulous Thing

If you're not sure what podcasts are, get ready to be introduced to a free and fun way to be filled with timely insight. For my friends that are PR players, check out some of the most influencial publications your pitching and find who's doing podcasts. It's a quickhit with high circulation numbers and almost all reporters are reqired to have a personal podcast or blog/vlog of their own.

For the rest that aren't too sure about podcasts, it's a way for a news outlet or even a celeb personality to report and get thier voice heard with out it costing the consumer (you) money. If you make a daily podcast download part of your daily routine, it'll be a great way to fill in your commute time.

Similar to blogs, podcasts come in just about every shape, shimmy and flavor. Choose your poison and you'll be pleasantly suprised. Here are a few tips on how to get started.

1 - Log into iTunes, click podcasts

2- Search for topics that might intrigue you, listen to a 30 second snippet

3 - Download to your library and be sure to sync-up your iPod or iPhone regulary for that days podcast.

Here are a few of my favorites that range from the super-techie to the super-girlie. If you want to search for certain genres of podcast check out podcast.com. Let me know what your favorite is!

• DiggNation - for the tech
• G4TV - for the gaming news
• Ask A Ninja - for more tech
• Wine Library TV - for the booze
• ZenLiving - for peace of mind
• CollegeHumor Originals - for a laugh
• RootsRock Radio Show - for some tunes

Something New

It's always refreshing to start something new. It reminds you that life can be unexpected, but it also means that there is a brand new road for you, one that you didnt expect to be on. For some crazy reason new things whether it's a new job, car or person make me feel so incredibly lucky.

On a lesser note, there are some great shopping sites where new things are quite decently priced and can make your dark jeans or simple black top feel brand new with an added detail or accessory.

Check out these sites. You might find something perfect for this weekend!

http://www.gilt.com/

http://www.bluefly.com/

http://www.shopbop.com/

A Passionate Argument

Music tends to be one of the few things that people can be passionate about. Whether it's the way a song or band makes you feel or the how a certain sound can bring back a moment or memory or even the attraction you feel towards a sexy frontman. Music provides perspective.

Enter the Dave Matthews fight.

There are bands that have fans and then there are bands that have life-long followers. Dave Matthews has both. The lifers belong to The Warehouse, see more than five shows per year and can defend and influence a conversation about their obession through a passionate argument.

On the flip-side, there are fans that appreciate the music and may even call them thier favorite, but don't see the need for the obsession.

Two friends had this conversation not long ago. One is a lifer while the other is a fan. I can see and understand both perspectives. And after laughing about it, it had me question what things I'm most passionate about. What fuels me enough to fight for my opinion a converation?

I think whether it's music or movies or even art everyone needs something to feel and be passionate about. It reminds you to remember moments of the experience, the people you're experiencing it with and how it made you feel.