Does Your Halloween Costume Reveal Something About You?

Halloween is always a fun holiday. For me, it means I can get my fill of horror movies (I love them, I don't know why), Reece's peanut butter pumpkins and the reminder to enjoy what's left of my favorite season, because it's almost over.

Dressing up for Halloween has always been a big deal. When we were kids it was to impress whoever I was crushing on in class and show off during our schools costume parade. As we got older it was to scare as many people as possible when trick 0r treating, and now it's about looking fantastic at a house party or event. Couple themed costumes are usually my favorite. I've seen some really great ones over the past few years (Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone, Ms. PacMan and the Flashing ghost, Mario and Princess Peach, and even Sigfried and Roy...with mini-white stuffed tigers).

It's also a time for girls to dress a little scandalous and guys to try and make as many people scratch their heads or laugh at their get-up as possible. I've read a few articles lately about how a persons choice for a Halloween costume could say a lot about them and that thier costume in fact reveals certain parts of themselves (even with out them knowing it). I don't know that I really believe that (I'm pretty sure the sexy kitten or Little Miss Muffett said to themselves..."oh yes, I'm so cat-like and cunning or I want to be naive and scared of spiders")

Single ladies, I'll give my theory here. Guys, you can choose to agree with me or not on this one.

To all the ladies dressing up this Halloween, I understand that there are two choices here. You can go with a bloody and scary costume, which in the eyes of many men can be seen like the a totally confident woman and really a person who just enjoys participating in the scary season. But, whilst talking to one of these said guys at a party I wouldn't be surprised if this occurred ...The inner thoughts of the cute guy you're talking to while dressed like a ghoul "beep beep beep radar radar radar, there goes the sexy pilot, how do I get my wings...I'm done with this bloody mess for now."

Or do you compete with rest and go with a little bit of scandal?

Stop right there.

Do not pull out the feminist card.

No, I do not believe that you have to dress in a tiny Halloween costume to look fabulous. But I do think, there are very few occasions when you can dress completely inappropriately and it's accepted and applauded.

So, my little bit of advice when you're getting ready this Halloween is to just have fun with it. Be scary. Be sexy. Be something that's completely different. Opt for the skirt that needs bloomers, by the fake lashes, knee highs and thigh highs can be fun (both during and after the party). But do it with taste. After all it's always better to not be mistaken for a trick, but rather a treat.

Happy Halloween! Be safe and have one helluva time!

So, are you for or against scantily clad costumes?

The Dumb Card

We are all guilty of throwing out the dumb card now and again. I've done it. I'm sure you've done it. But, why do we do it? I've learned over the past few years that the people that play the dumb card the best are men. Though many women think men are dumb, I actually think we don't give them enough credit sometimes (sometimes being the operative word). It may be possible that they are in fact smart and know exactly what they're doing, but play the dumb card to their benefit. And boy, can they play it well.

After all, it's easier to play surprised or stupid in order to get your way or hear what you want to hear. It's this strange world of manipulation that guys, I'm pretty sure, are born with or taught at an early age. It keeps us women shaking our heads and believing that they're just not that smart, when in fact it's part of the game.

I've used the dumb card in situations to make other people feel better (i.e. I'm supposed to be surprised about something, but I already know or I've guessed), I've used it to hear what someone else thinks about a situation first so I'm not the vulnerable one, I've even used it to flirt with guys (i.e. explain to me why that yellow flag was tossed, or where does the windshield washer fluid go again?). Regardless of how or when, we all use the dumb card. My point of this post is to recognize the fact that both men and women draw the dumb card every now and again for our own gain, but abusing it and causing people to take a second look and wonder if you are, in fact, really dumb is quite another. Use wisely. And guys, we know exactly what you're up to...

How have you used the dumb card lately?

The Kind That Lasts Forever

Weddings have definitely penetrated my cynical state of mind over the past few weeks. I watched as a series of people promised to love each other the way they love each other now, but say that they'll do it forever. That's one helluva promise. Who knows who this person will be in 20 years, right? But all of those kinds of questions I'll put aside (that's another post).

The best part of these weddings in particular is that I truly feel that they'll keep the promise. I never thought I would be so happy to see my friends so happy.

When you find it, I suppose you just know. At least, that's what they say. There has to be something that tells you, "this is the person that will make my life the same and different everyday...and I want them...all the time." Or maybe it's not as intricate as that. Maybe it's just something that tells you, "this is the one that I want to see ".

I know everyone is searching for someone to make them just that little bit happier, smarter, stronger than they are by themselves. Even the jaded and jilted singles out there. Don't lie, you want it. The kind of love that you read about. The kind that lasts for a lifetime.

For a long time I wasn't sure that it existed for everyone. That maybe some of us just were strong enough to be the life-long single ones. That we love the idea of love more than ever finding someone to fit the expectations of it. That maybe it's just not in the cards for us and that a happy and full life can be had with family and friends.

There's a part of me that may never look past those concepts, but I can say that after seeing people that I've grown up with find happiness and then stand-up and say they want it for keeps, well, it may have taken the hopeless out of this romantic and replaced it with hopeful.

Have you found it yet?

Bad Boys Get the Attention, But Nice Guys Get the Girls

We've been taught from early on that "bad boys" are worth all the trouble. After a few years, failed attempts at relationships, watching others crash and burn, I can absolutely say that that bad boys are not worth the trouble.

Defining what a "bad boy" is can be tough since they don't all look like Danny Suko these days. They may not rock the leather jacket and transport themselves in dangerous vehicles, but the "bad boy" image is not worth the effort. (Nice guys, stop thinking being a good guy isn't worth it, cause it is). Where I think nice guys can get a bad rap is when it's overkill. There's always a little sense of mystery and intrigue we want when we're first pursuing someone, but too much of it gets old really fast. Just like someone that is too nice and can be mistaken for a doormat, gets old much faster.

The best way that I've seen it broken down was from a recent AskMen article is this, "The unpredictable guy who lives hard and adopts the love-‘em-and-leave-‘em philosophy will inevitably leave a train of disgust in his wake. However, the guy who opens doors and pulls out chairs will also fail if he can’t be spontaneous and passionate. Really, it’s more about respect laced with a touch of deference at just the right moments when it comes to being a nice guy and finishing first."

The bad guys are jaded and sexy. They tend to have the "I can heal you" characteristic. But unless you're getting paid to be a doctor or nurse, who wants to "fix" anybody? These are the guys that also develop some sort of self-loathing complex later in life that will, if nothing else, bring you therapy bills and reasons to hold back from having consistent sex. Nice guys are never a sure thing, but I can tell you that girls are getting smarter. We've stopped overlooking the nice guys and the nerds and are realizing that these are the guys that treat girls the way we've always wanted. Nice guys get the girls these days...who knew!

Do you agree? Let me know :)

Surefire Signs You're Dating a Douchebag

All of us have been in a position with a friend at some point where they are just starting to date someone new. There's something off. We HOPE we're just reading it wrong, because there must be something amazing about this person that my friend is seeing. Trust your gut (you've probably been proved correct), no matter how you slice it, this "new guy" is nothing more than a giant DB (aka douche bag).

These guys are usually the kind that you and/or your friend might think "I know deep down he's really nice", "looks really good...and he knows it" or "he has such potential to be really great". Now read that back. Those are not really considered "ways to describe a keeper". If these are the only things that you can say about this new guys behavior, then your suspicions are right. He's a douche bag. Convincing your friend or even yourself that this guy is in fact a DB can be difficult. Here are a few things to look for to back up those suspicions.

You are dating a douche bag if:

• He does at least four or more of these things: Has a tanning membership, rocks the Gotti hair slick-back, his and your t-shirts are oddly the same size, drives an Audi, has at any point worn a sweater tied around his neck, treats his friends that are girls better than his girlfriend, takes more than 30 minutes to get ready to go out, has anything pierced other than his ears...and even then it's a fine line.

I'm sure there is a roster of things that you can think of that can so eloquently define the characteristics of a douche bag. If there is any thought in your bones that the guy you may be dating has douche bag tendencies, steer clear. It most likely won't get better.

It's interesting because I find there is such a small line between having a positive self perception and being so full of yourself that you can actually be considered a complete douche. It's up to you on how you want to define it, just listen to your friends if you should ever hear the person your dating even remotely referred to as a douche bag. There are plenty of great guys out there, leave the bags for bitches.

What do you think personifies a "douche bag"?

What's Protocol for Moving On?

How long is too long? (stop giggling) I meant in the world of relationships, more specifically, relationships that have an undefined expiration date. I suppose in theory all things come to an end at some point, but most of us have dated people and had that deep down in your gut feeling, even though you may do everything in your power to ignore it, that this one just isn't the one that will be "the love of my life".

I wonder how long it takes from when you start to have that feeling that things will most likely not work out to the point where you are either on the receiving end of the "I don't want this anymore" or delivering the giant disappointment package to your soon to be ex-significant other. How do you figure out when it's time to pack it in? Do you wait it out? Cut to the chase? Or close your eyes and hope this feeling goes away and your delusion of happiness dilutes itself into an acceptable way of life?

Recap your past relationships and I almost guarantee that you can find the moral out of each of them. The ones that didn't work, in someway, were there to help you through, grow-up, or even just teach you that there are plenty of creative things to do behind closed doors. Or from another point of view, look at how you may have impacted someone elses life, made it better, made them think differently or put them in their place.

Of course, it's easy to recap all of these things, once heartbreak is a distant concept and not the new adjective you use when someone asks how you're feeling.

What I wonder is how long is too long before you realize you're ready to move on? Or how long does it really take, or rather, should it take from the moment when you have the twinge of the gut to the actual "I've moved on" moment? I know that each situation is different but I wonder if we all actually really know deep down when the starter-relationships aren't going to work out, because they're merely just warming you up for the real thing.

Talk amongst yourselves and get back to me with your theory...I'm intrigued.

Greener Grass in the End Zone

Tailgating at 8:00 a.m. on a Sunday was clearly motivated by my football-fanatic guy friends. However, as much as I'm not a morning person, I must admit, I loved it. I woke up earlier for beer and burgers than I do for work. Look at my weekend priorities. Don't be jealous.

I'm sure you're wondering, "What could possibly have occurred during a Giants game that inspired a HH&PF blog post"?

As I sat on the upper level of Giants Stadium and watched as my New York spandex-wearing, bulky and bruit G-men slaughtered the Oakland Raiders, my attention faded in and out of the game. Like many girls these days I can actually tell you why a red flag is thrown or what a sack and down are, and I actually like watching games on Sunday's. But, because the only thrill of this particular game was being in Giants stadium for the first time, my eyes wandered to the crowd around me.

I like football. I like the attractive male fans just as much. However, during a game it can be tough to spot the difference between a good-looking fan and a closet douche bag (that sounds like another post...stay tuned). The two girls that sat directly in front of my friend and I were there with their husbands. Clearly from Jersey (I'm not a hater) sporting the classic Italian dark hair, curvy figure, too-late in the season to be a real tan, and diamonds on their left hands that I could only gawk at. Engagement rings and wedding bands that utterly sparkled in the sunlight. The kind of rings you see in Tiffany's ads and wish for when you blow out your candles.

I nudged my friend and words didn't even need to be exchanged - she saw the glitter too. The woman's lives that sat in front of us looked like the shiny packages that we hope for when it's our turn to open. Sometimes, however, no matter how big the diamond or pretty the picture, it's exactly the kind of life you hope to avoid.

The husbands upon a second glance, had a certain douche-baggery about them, which was later confirmed during a fight that they provoked with the fun drunks just two rows down - but that's beside my point.

When the men had left, the girls started talking, one started crying...a lot. Way more than is accepted at professional sporting events. Our ears perked. We just lucked out with front row seats to Jersey's version of One Life to Live. To make a long eavesdropped story short, the husband and wife fight all the time, ever since they bought the house according to her. She's not as happy, he just ignores her....blah blah blah. The consoling friend tells her that it'll be okay and whatever else to make her feel better. You could tell her friend had either been there before or just had consoled her too many times to come up with anything original.

From where I sat, initially their lives seemed like the kind of life I wanted. Spending time with a great guy on Sunday at a game with my gorgeous diamond on one hand and a great friend and her husband on the other. Looking a bit more closely, the grass isn't always greener - and in a lot of ways I wonder if the stadium was turned and she looked at my seat, she may gawk at the empty hand, time with my friends and the carefree approach to the day. You never know.

Gorgeous diamonds don't always equal a happy life (I mean, they don't hurt...) Look at the life you have. Someone elses will always look greener, but it really just depends on how deep you look. This particular telenovela at the Giants game really made me look at all the good things in my life and especially to hold out for what/who will just add to it and make my good-life list that much better.

Name 5 great things about your life (yes, you can) and forget about (at least if it's just for today) the things that you may green-eyed about.

Setting Sites and Expectations

From an early age myself and the girls I knew were told to aim high when it came to your job or career, look to be the best version of yourself and always, always choose a partner that supports both of those things (handsome, charming and a wickedly sexy smile, would just be an added bonus). Have high expectations and do everything you can to reach them.

I would have to say that overall in the grand scheme of my close girlfriends and sisters ALL of them have managed to create and follow these expectations. Especially when it comes to the men that they've chosen. Granted, not ALL of them are currently in a committed relationship (myself included), but I tend to think that most of us have set our sites high and refuse to settle for anything less.

Every now and then we need to be reminded to stay on that course. It's easy to get use to something or someone, it's simple to settle for what you know versus striving for a better career or job. But every now and then, all it takes is a simple reminder to choose to have a life that you can be happy with and proud of. I have some great friends that help remind me of things like that regularly (thank goodness, it's not easy being this fabulous all the time - the secret is friendships with people that you admire and push you).

So, if today is one of those days where you feel like you might be in a rut, with love, life or an annoying student or excel document. Here's some motivation to change it for the better.

1. Go for a run. Literal sweat and tears will help you think clearer ;)
2. Actually think about one year from now. Anything big that you want to happen, will take time. So get on it. I'm sure you remember this time last year and how fast it went by.
3. Find a creative outlet. Everyone has one. Dance. Write. Check-out at MeetUp. Use a different part of your brain, you'll gain new perspective.
4. Go out to dinner or coffee. With a friend. Family. Or if you're ballsy, then go solo. Change your venue (even if you're trying to save money). Go out.
5. And lastly, talk to whatever friend in your crew that will shoot from the hip and tell you how it is. At the end of the day they'll help you set your sites and reassess your expectations.

Happy site setting.